The Moment Of Contentment Dawned on me.
It was a magnificient experience. When we visited Tirumala recently,my daughter-in-law's parents arranged a Magnificient Darshanam of Lord Sri Venkateswara, in the Sanctum Sanctorum, through their contacts with the Temple Administration.
For a full ten to fifteen minutes we were permitted to stand in front of the Sacred Moola Viraat. Looking at the Lord's Divya Manohara Roopam, I could feel the Presence of the Omnipotent, Omnisciencient and Omnipresent, throughout my body,like a wave of Lightening Solace, passing through me.
A few hours later a feeling of Total Contentment Dawned on me.
Till then I had innumerable ideas in my head to build a New Concept School called The Finishing School,from Class 7 to Class 12, for the young children, who will flower into Citizens of India in the Decade 2010 to 2020. I even approached half a dozen Mighty Rich People to Sponsor the Project for me. As I had no such big Money to build a School of that Scale. None responded.
And I was a terribly disappointed man almost going into a desperate state of depression and self pity. That I am a good for nothing useless fellow.
I used to dream of building a Farm House which would be a farm house for my children and a Vanaprastha Asramam, for me and my wife, with a Tiny Vedic School in it just for 4 students of age 8 years. They would be in the School for 4 years and when they reach the age of 12 they would be discharged with an appropriate Completion Certificate.
That there would be only Fire Worship,in the Form of Nitya Agni Hotram in the premises, and hoped to conduct regular philosophical debates amongst Scholars.
Then I would dream of starting a Weekly magazine. The income from the magazine to cover the running expenses of the Vanaprastham.
Also was a dream to start in this Vanaprastham, a cottage industry to make pure, home made Pickles, Spices and eatables like snacks to finance the running of the Vanaprastham.
And when things were not materializing. I was getting frustrated because of my advancing age.
I am now 68, going on 69. And I believe in the Biblical Life Span of 3 score and 10 ( 70 ). So, I used to fear that I may kick the bucket any time after I am 70. As if I can decide my End. Which is a big Fallacy and false hope we Humans entertain.
Now, after my magnificient experience in the Tirumala Temple, I am freed of all such fears. It was Saturday,the 19th of June 2010,around 8 A M or so. As I stood before the Lord, that Contentment Dawned on me.
I am but an infinitesimal speck in His Creation.
I cannot wish for the Moon. I must deserve the Moon. Then He will never stop the Moon from coming to me.
He has always given to me what all I deserved. A Happy Family, an own house in a prime location in my City. Enough money to live a reasonably Luxurious Life.
Excellent Health. I enjoy my Morning Walks. How many people have all these Blessings ? I am the one amongst the very few Lucky ones. God's Unbounded Blessings were showered, and continue to be showered on me, most lavishly, at every important milestone of my life.
Now I should and now I can, confidently say that I am Contended fully.
Oh God Thank You. A big thank you. I shall forever remain eternally indebted to you.
I shall now happily enjoy what all I have. I shall not ask for any more. Protect me Oh God and give me a peaceful, painless Death, whenever you decide. It shall be Your Will that shall be done. Not mine.
